Dealing with the tears

Its been a hard day today for some reason.  Its not a day that would be something to remember. . .it isn't 6 months since his death nor is it a holiday.  But, for some reason the memories of finding out that he had fallen asleep and joined God sometime during the night keep coming back.  Maybe its the waiting for his headstone to be finished, or maybe its feeling so disconnected with my grief, or maybe its just because its ND football season. 

So just a memory.  When my brothers gave my dad the card with the gift of a trip to Slovakia, I am not sure he really ever expected it to come true.  He knew they were all busy and it would be hard to co-ordinate a trip.  He put off getting a passport, until finally I think he realized he was going to go.  He was very nervous about the trip and flying so far, but I remember talking about how he would only be alone from here to NY and then the boys (who weren't boys) would take over and he could just enjoy the trip.  He began to research a little of the language, and made a contact for finding out information about his family.

When we took him to the airport, he asked a few times if Doug knew where to meet him, and we did reassure him he did.  A cell phone wouldn't really be helpful, although we considered giving him Keith's as we had done before when he traveled to Cape May.

In the end, it was all worth his worry and concern because he came back just talking about all they had done and the family history.  He even said, he knew I would hear about it alot because he would forget what he did tell me and what he didn't but he was excited (as much as he got) to talk about his trip.  That Christmas I made him a photo album of all the pics.  He never put the description on the pages, but he did take it to every relatives home to show them that year so he could talk about the trip. 

He may not have had a clear direction of his family with his mom's death so early, but he so enjoyed finding out what he did when he was in Slovakia.  It was truly a trip of a lifetime for Diamond and my brothers.